There’s a quiet habit many of us develop over time—especially women, people of color, or anyone who’s ever felt “too much” in a world that prefers them small:
We shrunk ourselves.
We downplay our success.
We hide our opinions.
We quiet our joy.
All to avoid making others uncomfortable.
But here's the truth: their comfort should never come at the cost of your authenticity.
At The Fortified Living Blog, we believe in living fully, out loud, and unapologetically. Let’s dig into what it means to stop shrinking, how to recognize it, and why it’s time to expand—not contract.
3 Examples of How People Shrink Themselves
1. You Minimize Your Achievements
You get promoted, but you say, “It was just luck.”
You write a book, start a business, hit a goal—but brush it off like it’s no big deal.
Why? Because you're afraid of seeming “full of yourself.”
Truth: Celebrating yourself isn’t arrogance. It’s self-respect.
2. You Avoid Speaking Up
You’re in a meeting or social group, and you know you have a good idea or a valuable point—but you hold back. You don’t want to ruffle feathers or "seem aggressive."
Truth: Your voice matters. If your presence makes others uncomfortable, maybe it's their small box that needs to break.
3. You Dull Your Style or Energy
You tone down your clothing, your laugh, your opinions, or your confidence to fit in. You’re afraid of standing out in spaces that weren’t designed with you in mind.
Truth: You don’t exist to blend in—you were born to shine.
3 Clues That You’re Shrinking Yourself
🔹 You constantly apologize—for your tone, your choices, your presence.
Not every sentence needs “sorry” at the beginning. That habit? It's often a sign you're subconsciously trying to make yourself smaller.
🔹 You feel drained after social events.
Not because you're introverted—but because you spent the whole time filtering yourself to appease others.
🔹 You rehearse and revise everything you say, even in casual conversations.
If you're always editing yourself to avoid disapproval, you're likely shrinking to maintain harmony that doesn't serve you.
3 Historical Oddities That Show the Power of Boldness
1. The Women’s Trousers Ban (France, 1800–2013)
It was literally illegal for women in Paris to wear pants for over 200 years unless given police permission. Women like Marlene Dietrich wore trousers anyway, defying dress codes and making way for future freedom.
Lesson: Society's discomfort with bold women has deep roots—but boldness breaks barriers.
2. Josephine Baker’s Banana Skirt (1920s)
An African-American dancer who moved to Paris, Baker became a sensation—and political activist. Her flamboyant performance style made some uncomfortable, but she never toned it down. She used her fame to fight for civil rights and even spied for the French Resistance in WWII.
Lesson: Don’t dim your light. Use it to illuminate truth and injustice.
3. The Iron Nun (Sister Madonna Buder)
She started running marathons at age 48—and completed over 45 Ironman triathlons. A nun, a runner, and a record-breaker, she challenged age, gender, and religious expectations.
Lesson: Expansion has no expiration date. You don’t need permission to grow bigger.
Fortify This: Stretch, Expand, and Take Up Space
Your existence isn’t too loud, too much, or too big. You’re not here to shrink—you’re here to stretch into the full power of who you are.
Stop apologizing for your brilliance.
Stop editing your essence.
Stop shrinking so others can stay comfortable in their smallness.
Fortified living means showing up as your full self—even when the room wasn’t built for you.
Because when you take up space, you give others permission to do the same.
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